im dying inside.............

well a couple of days ago i got the news" babe im depolying to afganastan in less than 60 days they put us in active status" i couldnt believe they did it so soon. it was supposed to be in november. i didnt know what to say or do all i could do is hold him and my little boy. we are trying to get everything together there is so much to do. he will be gone for 7-8 months. he will miss masons 2nd bday, christmas, my birthday, anniversary and valentines day. i get comments from people that say oh your strong it will be okay. but in reality most of them dont know whats its like to be away from there spouse that long, waiting by the phone for a call, trying not to watch the news of all the people dying, trying to explain to a 2yr old where daddy is as he looks around for him, juggling everything on my own and praying that he will come home alive. thats nothing i would wish upoun anyone. truth is im trying to stay strong for everyone but i can only hold in so much till i break down. i hate waking up every morning with a smile when i know im dying inside.........but i guess thats what i asked for when i married a military man as some people say,huh?